Since ancient times, marriage has played a pivotal role in sustaining our society. Marriage gives you a committed companion and provides the progeny with financial security and legal status. It has also been responsible for the stable family system and imbibing family values in future generations, thus stabilizing and shaping our civilization. A patriarch in both western and eastern often heads the families. Men earn and feed the family, while women stay home and care for children and do household chores. Only certain tribes, like the Khasis in India and the Masuo in China, are exceptions to the patriarchal family system.
The times have changed- women have stepped out of the house, leading
the institutions, earning a salary while doing household chores, and taking cooking for the family and children. But during this journey, nothing has changed for the man. Men still earn but do nothing at home. They still feel their mothers and wives should do cooking, cleaning, and childcare. Women are expected to balance house and office, be the epitome of traditional and modern values, and care for the old parents of the man. All this is supported based on providing financial security and protection to the woman. The question is- does an earning woman needs any security and care? The woman cares for the man’s family without sympathy and time out in the whole story. Finances have always given a man an upper hand in marriage. The patriarch is the head of the family because he earns and feeds the family. It’s a different thing that women are not allowed to make primary decisions even after contributing to the family’s financial needs.
The finances for an independent woman come into the picture while taking a legal divorce. Women ask for alimony from their husbands to support themselves and the kids ( if any). Men would accuse women of taking their lifetime earnings through maintenance, especially if they were not at fault in the marriage. Men consider the financial support their spouses take from them as more valuable than the household chores they do at home. Just imagine taking money for the daily household work that women do every day. How much will it cost? Sometimes, women falsely charge men and their families to extract money from them. Both parties can be at fault. The accusations from both parties never end till death parts them.
The old marriage system is not in harmony with the modern and changing times. Since the roles of men and women have changed, the marriage rules must be revisited and revised. Both men and women should take responsibility for their lives and not marry to have a home or financial security. Men should not marry solely to have a housemaid and should understand the basic human needs of the person. Both men and women should ensure that they are not a burden to each other and that whatever they do for each other should be valued and appreciated. How about having a law that allows both husband and wife to keep the property they have earned individually during separation? Both parents can contribute to the child’s support based on their earnings. This simple maintenance proposition does not consider domestic violence and cheating by any partners. It also does not consider if any of the partners is not working. In that case, they will need to split the property.
The times and society have changed, but the marriage rules remain unchanged. It’s time that society and law recognize these changes and invent robust laws and policies which support the current marriage system while keeping the purpose of marriage intact. Caring for each other and taking responsibility for spouses comes naturally if your wedding is based on love and mutual respect.
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